It feels nice to tell friends what’s bothering us right? They promise not to share our most private thoughts or feelings with others. However, this is a big ask for anyone who has not made a professional pledge to keep information private and to themself.
What if your friend feels overwhelmed, or burdened and needs to offload as well? What if they also have similar issue, or setting boundaries was not one of their childhood learnings (very common).
In Psychotherapy and Counselling, whether we like it or not, there is a different balance of power. The listener is professional, legally registered, and providing therapy in a structured setting (even online) as a paid service. The speaker has come to create a new relationship purely to be heard and helped. When we download to friends we can shift the power structure of our friendship which can mess up future hangouts just for fun. Using our friend as a therapist can ruin a good friendship. It also causes a a lot of stress in an intimate relationship.
You must have heard of the game “telephone” (Chinese whispers)? What arrives at the end of the exchange of information rarely resembles what was originally shared. Also, friends become overburdened and need the next friend to hold the secret, and so on and your issue may grow extra limbs and become monstrous. And if your friendship goes through bumpy times, are you sure your secrets are safe?
Experienced and trained listeners can hear anything at all, not judge you, hear you with kindness, not give advice (unless asked) and never, ever, tell anyone else (unless an underage person is at risk). You sign an agreement at the start to give permission (or not) to speak of your issue in their supervision. You have complete control of who hears about your feelings and stories.
Where else in your life can you find such keenly developed empathy, fully focussed on assisting you, and sworn to keep what is said in absolute secrecy?